Tuesday, 10 May 2016

First Taste of Sun and Moon

In true GameFreak fashion, we are all party to the glacial pace with which information will be doled out to us until November of 2016. Usually, the hit we expect goes onto largely justify the wait – like an addict coming across an unusually powerful strand of drug, and all is forgiven.

PokeFans all over the world share this common trait – waiting for our patience to be rewarded.

Not this time though! *facepalm*

Welcome to the Alola region! An island formation inspired largely by Hawaii! Really? Alola? Like Aloha? How many nights did GameFreak stay up to come up with this little tidbit of word play. I mean seriously! It was the eye-roll that could be felt world over.

The Alola Region

They also released a picture of the overworld map further emphasizing the most lackluster region I have yet to see. Only one word comes to mind – LAZY!

But let’s not dwell – let us address the meat of the matter, the 3 Alola starters. With a name like that I wasn’t expecting much of an assault to the senses anyway – and boy did they deliver! - or in this case, fail to.

The 3 Alola Starters - or collectively referred to as WTF
Litten. Like kitten with an L? More like the runt in the Pyroar pack that was neutered and domesticated?

Rowlet. Like Rufflet’s inbred cousin who the Braviary gave up to hospice care but everyone tolerates at family gatherings because he seems to mean well.

And Popplio – aka the sound a turd makes when making contact with an almost empty bowl.

Keeping the Oscar Wilde wordplay aside for just a quick second to talk about the designs. One stroke. That’s all it seems to have taken. The Pokemon could have easily been made in one sitting, in one damn stroke. There’s absolutely nothing innovative about them.

Lazy, lazy, LAZY!

6 generations of Starters
I’m not usually a negative person. But this was not cool man! I’ve been around since Kanto and the starters’ reveal is extremely important to me. It gives us a look at the first Pokemon partner we’ll be running down the routes through with together, and who’ll predominantly end up as the most powerful Pokemon within our Teams when we ultimately make it to the Pokemon League. Moreover, it gives you a feel of what the local fauna has in store down the road. Litten, Rowlet and Popplio? Cue the slow clap!

But as I said, I’m not really a very negative person, and the addict inside me still clings onto a ray of hope. For example, I remember how insanely hyped and excited I was when I got my first look at the Unova starters and Snivy, Tepig and Oshawatt gave us the worst third tier evolutions that GameFreak has ever made!


Just, no.
Speaking of Unova starters – did anyone else think that Popplio would’ve been the more appropriate design to eventually evolve into Samurott? 
In all of starter history, Oshawatt to Samurott have been the least likely to be connected in terms of character design – making a sea lion whip out swords and fence with the enemy is by all means, riDIC. And this is coming from someone who is DOWN to hang with a possessed chandelier!


This is the 7th generation guys - my expectations are duly high. And let’s be realistic, we’re not Ash ‘mediocre’ Ketchum - none of us are going to be stuck with these starters for more than the initial hours of gameplay. Here’s hoping for worthier evolutions come leveling up.

But maybe for the time being I should return to my ORAS and vent my anger on Battle Spot. Kicking ass with my Jellicent/Umbreon combo was never this therapeutic.

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